Fear of rejection, Video Devotion

Learning to Shake off Rejection to Live in Freedom — Video Devotion

Kneeling on a stranger’s carpet, overpriced vacuum hose in hand, I struggled to maintain eye contact. I must have apologized at least half a dozen times—for bothering the poor woman in the first place, for attempting to sell the silly contraption.

For knocking on her door. If only she hadn’t answered.

If only I hadn’t answered that vague ad in the newspaper. Become an independent contractor, they said. Earn thousands in commissions, they said.

Why I ever thought I, a woman who hates rejection, dirt, dust, and talking to strangers, could ever succeed as a door-to-door salesperson is beyond me.

Then again, I didn’t. I quit, and began plotting my resignation by the first house.

I wonder if any of the disciples felt similar when Jesus sent them out, two by two-to share His truth with complete strangers. Granted, they were selling something much more valuable than I was, but still, strangers and religion.

Did that make your stomach dip?

Not only that, but they were to stay with these strangers, as their guests. In their home, presumably for as long as they’d have them. If the strangers were receptive, accepted their message, the disciples were to “let their peace rest on them.” If the homeowners got riled up or kicked the disciples out, they were to shake the dust off their feet. To let no trace of that “rejection” cling to them. (Matthew 10:14)

In other words, they weren’t to allow “rejections” past or present get in the way of their calling. They needed to let them go. So do we. We’ve all experienced rejection, but we don’t have to stay there. The next time someone mistreats or turns their back on you, mentally shake off the dust and move on as you learn to live wholly loved.

Fear of rejection, Video Devotion

Moving Past Fear of Rejection–Video Devotion


We were best friends, and then we weren’t. It was as simple as that. My friend’s mom decided I wasn’t popular enough for her daughter, so we could no longer be friends. As an adult, I see that the situation had nothing to do with me—it was about serious issues with my friend’s mom. But at the time, all I felt was…. rejected.

The pain my middle-school heart felt cut deep. This was personal. I was rejected because of who I was—or rather, who I wasn’t. My young mind—not mature enough to handle the emotional complexity of the situation—concluded I wasn’t good enough. In fact, I felt worthless.

That experience brought my confident, self-assured childhood to a screeching halt. From that day forward, I was different. I desperately wanted to prevent the pain of rejection again, so I guarded my heart in relationships, and avoided situations where I might be told “You didn’t make the team”, or “You’re not right for the job.” I strived to prove my worth through hard work, surmising that I wouldn’t be discarded if I was useful. And, I pridefully elevated myself to positions of authority so I couldn’t be eliminated.

Jesus knew deep rejection. Isaiah 53:3 says, “He was despised and rejected”—that “we turned our backs on him and looked the other way.” Yet, He never wavered—He knew who and whose He was. (NIV)

After inviting Jesus into my heart, I saw that my fear of rejection stemmed from being dependent on the world to define my worth and identity. I was horribly afraid to be rejected because it forced me to come face to face with my deepest fear … that I lacked value.

I overcame that fear by recognizing that my identity and worth are found in Christ, and that I’m God’s created daughter. Nothing God creates is worthless. And should I ever forget, His love letter to me—the Bible—reminds me.

What causes you to fear rejection? Bring it into the healing light of God’s truth today, as you learn to live Wholly Loved.

Translation used: NIV

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Fear of rejection

Developing Deep Friends–Video Devotion

I’ve been hurt, betrayed, and abandoned. I’ve had friends slander me and assume the worst. I’ve simultaneously craved relational intimacy and spurned it.

And I’m not alone in this. So many of us are maintaining surface level friendships, longing to go deeper, to unveil who we truly are and connect with those who love us, flaws and all, but fear of rejection continually gets in our way.

Can I just say, I get it. I understand your longing to be known fully and loved deeply, to find those people who not only get you but promise to stay.

I also know the fear that comes from past hurts. We all have scar tissue, and this distorts our perception. Makes us leery and self-protecting. So we step into new relationships with our running shoes on, ready to bolt at first sign of conflict.

But that only perpetuates the problem, adding hurt upon hurt, defensiveness upon defensiveness. Loneliness upon loneliness.

What if we did this whole friendship thing differently? What if we determined to stay? To push through the hard—to be the type of friend we ourselves long or?

On the night before His death, Jesus gathered His disciples together, and after having told them about all the difficulties that lay ahead—persecution, imprisonment, execution … He prayed that “they would be one” just as He and the Father were one. (John 17:21, ESV)

That’s deep, enduring unity—the kind that goes well beyond the casual friendships so many of us maintain.

To develop the type of unity Jesus prayed for, we need to love as He did. Less than twenty four hours before his execution, He washed the feet, an act normally performed by household servants, of Judas, the very one who would betray Him. Then, shortly after His brutal death, Jesus intentionally sought out Peter, the friend who’d denied and abandoned Him.

His love for them wasn’t dependent on their actions to Him. And He didn’t hold grudges or nurse wounds. When there was a rift, like with Peter, Jesus took the initiative to make things right.

That’s hard, especially when we’ve been hurt, but its oh, so necessary. If we don’t learn to do this, to press through the hard and hold tight to one another, we’ll never experience the deep connectedness our hearts long for.

The next time conflict arises and you’re tempted to self-protect and run away, press in—first to Jesus, and then into the friendship. Learn to hold tight. To work through the hard, surrendering your hurt and heart to Jesus, as you learn to live Wholly Loved.

And if this is an issue you struggle with and an area where you’d like to learn how to walk in deeper freedom, then join us for one of our upcoming Bold and Brave Conferences. You find out more HERE.

women friendsYou can register for our June conference (at Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church in Lincoln on June 23rd) HERE.

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